If I would have known then what I know now!

I originally started writing this blog back in 2009 when I had all almost given up hope of ever becoming pregnant. Here were my thoughts back then...... Things have been changing so fast that at times I wonder if I will look back one day and remember how my life used to be. That is the purpose of this blog. I married my high school sweetheart and the love of my life on April 20, 2002. It is by far one of the best things that I have ever done. After being together for years and having all sorts of heartache in our lives we are so relieved to finally "get it right" so to speak. Joe is my whole world and I can't imagine my life without his love and support. Recently we decided we were ready to have a "little" family of our own (pardon the pun!) I knew it would probably be difficult because after all we haven't really "prevented" pregnancy for several years, but have never really made up our mind to try either. It is hard to think about the possibility of not being able to conceive a child because that is after all God's great gift for women. My heart breaks at the thought of this never happening for us. Joe would be a terrific father and I feel like if I can't give that to him that I am failing as a wife. I have always wanted to be a mother, after all that is why I went back to school to become a teacher! After our second month of trying to conceive and a failed pregnancy test after being 2 weeks late I feel an immense pain. I know it is still early, but my mind races as I wonder if this will ever happen. Needless to say a lot has happened since 2009 and the God has really lead me to tell my story. I am choosing to follow God's will and be open and honest about my joy, heartache, pain, and struggles in dealing with infertility.